What I have to offer is Me

So...
I'm not really sure who has or hasn't heard of the death of Amanda Todd. It's a really sad story. A young girl bullied at a young age. It's heartbreaking it's the story of thousands and thousands of youth. The statistics on bullying are mind blowing.

It blows my mind how an individual can literally speak enough death into someones life that they would kill themselves. Suicide is so sad, it goes beyond my comprehension. To literally feel like there is no hope is mind blowing. Because I know the hope of the world.

See before the world or the universe existed God existed. God was in perfect relationship with his son and the Holy Spirit and they wanted to extend that relationship so they created humans. But before they actually created us they had a conversation and decided that no matter what happened they would have a way that we can always be in relationship with them, because that is our purpose. We are made complete when we are in relationship with God. So God (Father, son and spirit) created the universe, earth, light, land, water, every animal on land, in water and in the sky. And finally they created humanity. And when we were created it was beautiful and creation was complete, we were the climax of their creation.

Now I'm sure most of you have heard the story, Adam and Eve ate of the fruit that God had told them not to. God wasn't trying to hold back from Adam and Eve, but God wanted to protect them from evil. But it was their free choice, see God could have created us so we'd automatically praise him and do good. But we could never love him that way because you need to choose to love someone. Well the moment Adam and Eve took a bite of that fruit evil entered the world. But this wasn't a surprise to God, he already had a plan of how we can still be complete in relationship with him. Because God loves us, God desires that relationship with us. so years later (around 4000) Jesus comes to earth, he comes and displays who we were created to be when in relationship with God. But the world hated him because he went against their way of living for only themselves. So they had him killed. But this again wasn't a surprise to God he knew Jesus was going to die, Jesus knew. But this was the only way for their beautiful creation to be in relationship with God.

See when we sin the consequence is ALWAYS death. Not a physical death but a spiritual one when the very life in us dies. So Jesus took that, he took all of the death we deserved and was killed. But God is more powerful than the grave, three days later Jesus rose from the dead. Now the penalty is paid, we can now enter into relationship with God and begin the process of being made complete in him.

That is my hope, this is everything I live for, this is what keeps me alive when the evil and darkness of the world seem so strong. I know I can live out my purpose in life which is to live in relationship with God. I know there is still good in the world because God is good and I'm connected to God now.

I didn't know Amanda Todd, but to think that she died feeling like there was no reason to live. That breaks my heart. I have so many questions, did she know that the God that created everything thought she was important enough for his son to die for her? Did she know that love her beyond understanding? I don't know. But if she didn't thats un us as Christians. I am so sorry to all the people who have never heard that there is a God who loves them and wants to know them. Because my job here on earth as a Christian is to be a testimony to the incredible thing that God did approx. 6000 years ago when he thought out a plan to redeem us from sin.

What blows my mind is how incredibly mean people have been to Amanda. I don't know her, I don't know the people that bullied Amanda, I don't know what made them do that, but I do know that God loves/loved all of them. God loved Amanda. God also loves the people who bullied her.
I'm angry at the people who bullied Amanda, if I could talk to them. I'd have one question. Are you happy now? Now that you destroyed a life are you happy? But what is so incredible about my God is that he doesn't do that. God can't not love people. I think he gets sad with people. But he never stops loving them. And that in my mind, if I could say one thing to the people who bullied Amanda I would say God loves you, and forgives you. I feel compassion on them, because they are just as lost as Amanda felt.

I've read some of the comments on the Amanda Todd Facebook group and they say 'I hate the people who bullied Amanda' or 'God's going to come and get you back' ... well to those of you who wrote hurtful things to the people who bullied Amanda, how are you any better than them? You're saying mean things too. And everytime you say something hurtful you are speaking death into someone, and only so much death can spoken about soemone before they have no reason to live. It's this viscious cycle and it needs to stop! Hateful words need to stop being spoken.

It's hard to love someone that is our enemy, yet thats what the bible calls us to do because when a gentle word is spoken it can calm a war.

I'm all my followers, this is a long entry. But I think it's important to examine our lives and the way we treat people and look to see if we're building people up or tearing them down. That even means in our joking. It might funny for you but you never know the power of your words.

I want to leave you guys with a video that I saw on the To Write Love on Her Arm website, I really liked something this guy said he said, "Don't allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work" We have the power to change the world. But you have to be the change you want to see. If you want bullying to stop than you need to examine how  you talk to people. And if you see bullying YOU need to step up and say something! I ask myself these questions too, I know I have failed many times, but I keep trying to make the world a better place.
Please take 5 minutes to watch this video.
http://www.twloha.com/blog/what-to-offer-1/

Infinite x's and o's
- A

Inside my head

Hey!

So I wanted to get a little personal on this blog, being honest with you and hopefully you learn a little something about me that you didn't know before. In the summer I was feeling really lost and just kind of unsure of who I am. So I decided it would be a good idea to sit down and write out things about who I am. And i want to share my journal entry with you guys, so I hope you enjoy and that you feel like you know me just a little bit better after reading this.

" Monday August 6, 2012

Alright lets talk about who I am.
I am twenty-one years old. I'm sensitive about my age.
I have red hair and love every inch of it.
I've grown up in small towns all my life. I used to hate the country, but now I'm embracing my country side.
I hate the taste of coffee but I drink it because it makes me hyper, and I think I'm more fun when I'm hyper.
I love tea, all kinds of it. I
'm left handed and have terrible printing.
I love getting good old fashioned mail. And I would probably send a lot more letters if I had nicer printing.
I like tall guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. (I always tell people I want to marry someone with those qualities because, 1. I'm short so if I marry someone tall my children have hope of being taller, 2. I have red hair so if I marry someone with brown hair my children are pretty much destined to have brown hair, so I'd like them to have the option of having a light colored hair, 3. my eyes are brown so if I marry someone with blue eyes then my children have hope of having something other than brown eyes and also blue eyes are just really pretty)
I have brown eyes and have ALWAYS wished for a different color.
I love lace and old things.
I also really enjoy simple things.
I love to travel, I hate trying new things (but after doing it I love that I tried something new)
I am a Christian, born and raised.
I love God, but sometimes I go through phases where I don't feel like I love him and I don't live the way I should. (I don't like those phases but during them I feel... almost invincible, like I can do anything I want. But I also feel ... empty.)
I want to change the world. I mean... I REALLY want to change the world.
I'm super naive, I don't try to be I just am.
I beleive the best in people. And have a really hard time believing there are bad people in the world.
I enjoy quotes, they inspire me.
If I could pick a favourite feeling it would be inspired. That's all I want to do with my life, inspire people. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.
I'm slightly OCD. But only in moments.
I wish I was more creative with words. I would love to write songs. I open my heart quickly to people, and get attatched easily.
I want to own a jeep.
My favourite music genre is accoustic and folk, but oldies and jazz are a close second/third.
Often I'll flirt with guys I don't even like just because I like the attention from others, and yet the guys I do like I get awkward and quiet around.
My favourite movie is the Notebook because I love how old fashioned it is. AND the southern accents.
I always wished I had a southern accent, and sometimes I pretend when no one is listening.
I am a complete hopeless romantic and am constantly dreaming of find "my man" and going on lots of crazy adventures with him.
                                                 I think thats all
                                                Infinite x's and o's

                                                                                                                                                            -A

Passion for people

Well Hey everyone!

          If you guys have followed my blog since the beginning then you may have noticed the face lift I gave it. See my original name, and everything just didn't fit anymore. The purpose of this blog has changed and the name needed to change with it. To something a little more me, and seeing as I am definitely a country girl at heart I figured country and heart was a fitting title.  I hope you guys enjoy my new blog style.

        So I want to share with you guys what happened to me today. See I'm in Bible College studying to be a pastor right now, and I'm not really sure thats what I want to do with my life, but thats the direction I'm heading for now. All I can say for sure is that I know I love people. People are my passion. But see up until today I've been saying that and saying that but I haven't been acting it. I say that I want to inspire people, but my actions haven't lined up. Well today in class my prof. was talking about how we are supposed to love people not for whothey are portraying themselves to be, but we need to love people for all the potential of who they can be in relationship with Jesus Christ. Just because someone is acting rudely doesn't mean I should be acting rudely back, instead I need to treat that person according to the potential they have inside them.

       Now I don't know maybe you guys read that and were like, uh yeah no duh! But for me this was like huge revelation. Because I realized how I say I love people, and I want to inspire them but then because they aren't acting perfectly that changes how I react and treat them. Well I need to apologise to everyone I have ever treated badly because you know what? That was wrong of me. And I figured out the way I can inspire people is by treating them according to the potential they have in them. When you treat someone who would seemingly not deserve honour with honor they begin to rise to the level that you are treating them on. And that is how I want to live treating people so good that they rise up to be that good, or greater!

        I really do love people, and its not going to be an overnight change of how i treat people, I am constantly telling myself to not say certain things, but its worth it in the end.

        How can you guys treat people better around you? Are you building people up? Or tearing them down? Are you challenging people to rise to a higher calling on their life because of the way you treat them or are you minimizing people? Think about the way you treat people, it's really important!
Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other. - John 13:35

Infinite x's and o's
-A

Needing some motivation

Hello hello hello,
 
                   How is everyone today? It's friday the sun is shinning and there is a lot of potential for it to be a good day. I hope you guys are all having a fantastic end of the week. I'm going be honest this week was definitely not my BEST week (as you probably guessed from my earlier blog entry) But I wanted to reassure everyone that I'm doing much better now. I talked with my friend and apologised because I know I've been avoiding her because I was angry with her, and you know what I don't know where are friendship will be in a month from now, or next year but I'm okay with it. I'm not angry with her anymore, I'm just at peace.

                  However... I am seriously needing to find something to motivate me in two areas.
        1.) My workouts, I just don't feel like working out right now. I know I know, mind over matter, but it's really hard to push yourself when you just don't feel like doing it. I think part of my lack of motivation in this area has been my lack of regular sleeping habits and routine this whole week. So starting tonight I'm going to go to sleep and my normal time and wake up and workout first thing in the morning.... Now i said I have to do it! (Wish me luck!)
        2.) My homework! Now who out there is in school?? Because you guys will understand how incredibly difficult it can be to motivate yourself to stay on top of your homework. It's so easy to find a million different distractions and I know i need to be focusing. What your tips or techniques to motivate you to do your work, and write your papers??

Have a fantastic last couple of days of September! I'm looking forward to October!
Infinite x's and o's
- A

Don't give up, Get up

Good afternoon all you beautiful people.

Fall has arrived, the cool weather has begun, leaves are changing color, it's a beautiful season. And yet there is this part of me that always gets sad when fall arrives. I guess it's because I watch as the leaves fall off the trees and it makes think they're dying. I know they aren't actually, and I know that it's just a season of their life and in a few months they'll be beautiful and lively again.

I've begun the process of looking into taking fitness next year, and my first step is catching up on some high school sciences. I knew I should have taken them. Oh well. So I'm not quite sure if I'm going to do adult learning or what yet, anyone have an suggestions??
So it's fitting that a new season is just starting, because a new season in my life is just starting. Last night I had a bit of a break down. Just because life has changed SO much.
I'll tell you guys but you're going to think I'm being pathetic.
First of all the girl I thought was my best friend starting dating a friend of ours. Which is cool, I don't really care if they date or not. BUT she didn't tell me, I found out they were dating through facebook. I truly thought we were best friends, and we shared important things with each other. But she didn't even tell me she liked him. If fact the week before they dated we were talking and she said she'd never date the guy. I felt betrayed. Maybe I made a big deal out of nothing. But we've hardly spoken since she started dating the guy. And to be honest I'm not really sure what I'd have to say to her. If she doesn't trust me with her life, can I trust her with mine?

To be honest ever since I've gotten back to school I've just been lonely. My crew of friends who hung out all the time last year... we're never together anymore. And I know i could just make new friends but part of me doesn't want to. I feel like everytime I get a solid group of friends something happens and we're not friends anymore and I have to start all over again. I'm tired of starting my life over. I just want some consistency in my life. I just want to know that the people I pour out my heart to are still going to be there the next month. I'm tired of feeling lonely, and feeling like I don't have a place where I belong.

Yet in the midst of this, I know I'm not alone. God really is here with me, and I know my life could be a billion times worse than what it is. Just sometimes the hurt of your own life seems so great that it's hard to keep everything in perspective.

But just like fall and winter last only I part of the year, I know that this season will not continue forever. It's just for a time.
Infinate x's and o's
-A

#FreshStartsandFreshDreams

Well hello all my blogger friends!

          It has been.... A LONG time since I last wrote. And a lot has happened since I last wrote. First of all I did build my own longboard this summer, which is totally sweet to say... but i wish i could say I used it more. I don't really know how to ride it so I don't. I'm a little nervous to embarass myself, but I need to get over that. As well I was supposed to be going to New york to participate in the Color Run but in the end it didn't work out for financial reasons. It was disappointing but I know that I can always do one in the future, so I'm looking forward to that.

        I truly had an amazing summer I learned a lot and experienced a lot. I spent time with some awesome friends of mine. And now I'm here back at school it feels so natural to be here and I'm excited for this new school year. I love the beginning of new things because I always feel like its a fresh start to be a better person than you were before. My goal for this year is to really take in everything I can during my classes, and you know what I'm excited my classes are really interesting, so I'm excited for where I'll be after them.

        Now I have something to share, and this covers the fresh dreams part of my title. You guys are the pretty much the first people I'll have shared this with. Which is odd to think about because I havent wanted to share it with people I know yet, and yet I'm posting it on a public site. Oh well go big or go home right??

        So I have been trying to figure out what it is that I want to do for my career, I'm in school you'd think I'd know if I'm spending money for my education but nope I really had no idea. And last year I realized I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do but I knew that what ever it was I wanted to help people find hope. Well this summer is when it all began. I was watching my all time favourite T.V. Show, Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, and the trainer on there is honestly my role model, he inspires me so much. If you've never seen the show, Chris Powell trains indivdual people for a year and helps morbidly obese people have a second chance at living. So people who are 500 lbs can lose up to 250 lbs. in one year. It's a mind blowing physical transformation, but the part that is more incredible than the physical transformation is the mental one. These individuals start this program thinking they're failures, they sometimes feel worthless, and often are holding a lot of emotional baggage, but throughout the year you see hope come into their lives and you see their self value rise, and life come back into them. It is so incredibly amazing to see this transformation. And this summer I said to myself if I could do anything in the world I would want to do what Chris Powell does, but I never really thought much of it, I didn't actually think I could or would ever be doing what Chris Powell does. But as the summer and the beginning of this school year progressed the desire to do that has only grown stronger in my heart. Now some of you might be thinking well if this is what you want go for it. And I would except you have to understand, I myself, am overweight. I can't just decide I want to go to school for Exercise Science and go for it. I'm not inshape enough to do it. But that has become my goal for this year. I want to be in shape enough that I can go to school for fitness, because I want to offer hope to others. and I think that if I can accomplish this goal I'll have a better understanding of what the people I'm trying to help go through because I have been overweight, and I have had to push myself to get into shape.

        Now I actually want to do something different than Chris, instead of helping individuals I want to trasnform families, through lifestyle coaching and training all of them not just one member of the family. I think families are so incredibly important and if the family is not on board with something it can be a burden on one person to try and change their lifestyle.

       Anyways thats where I am at now, I have a long way to go but I truly believe I could do this. But I'm going to need support from people, so please join me on this journey. Encourage me, and support me in this.

Infinite x's and o's
-A

#checkthatoffmybucketlist

HEY,

Alright, so life is crazy busy! I thought I was busy at school with working a part time job and being a full time student with all those assignments and everything. BUT being home is even BUSIER!
For those of you who don't know, I have four sisters and one brother,

Here is a beautiful picture of us!

I feel like this picture really captures our personalities! Haha! I'm the ginger one in the middle!

My oldest sister has moved off to work at a camp for the summer, and so this past month has been a combination of work, and helping my mom and dad take care of my four younger siblings. I love doing it, and I love being able to help out. But it has been crazy busy. So much running around and getting everyone where they need to be. And now it is the end of the school year, and we're very grateful that everything will calm down for the summer.
Some exciting news though, my sister just younger than me, has also moved away from home for the first time this summer. She is also working at a camp. I think it is going to be an incredible experience for her.

So now that I've given you an update on my family life lets move on to what really excites you guys! Life and all the incredible amazing things that happen in life. So I called this entry check that off my bucket list because thats what I'm doing this summer! I'm getting to check stuff off my bucketlist!

So it's almost a month ago now that I donated blood for the first time! Which was something that I REALLY wanted to do. I was really nervous going there, I really don't like needles. And everyone kept telling me, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. But I told them NO I WANT TO DO THIS, and I don't care how scared I am I'm going to do it! and you know what I did it, and it was an incredible experience.

The blood donor clinic that I went do was actually held in honor of a local boy that needs tranfusions, Elijah is only four years old, and I got to meet him, his 6 month old sister and both his parents who were so grateful that me and my sister came. It was such a joyful experience, and I STRONGLY recommend going and donating blood if you are capable, because it really is a chance to change someone's life.

As well I've bought all the supplies to build my longboard and now I'm just needing sometime to actually put it together but thats something I'll get to check off my list, I'm going to New York in August to participate in the Color Run! And so that is also something I will be able to check off my bucket list! I'm super excited about all the stuff I'm actually doing that I said I wanted to do! So I'm going to include an updated version of my bucketlist, I hope you guys are actually taking steps to doing the stuff you really want to do in your life because it is so worth it! Remember you really do only live once, but if you do it right... once is enough!
Infinite x's and o's
-A

Here's my updated list:

1.) Go Camping and Cook food over a fire

2.) Witness a Miracle

3.) Get Married

4.) Start my own Business/organization

5.) Get a stamp on my passport from every country

6.) Go paintballing

7.) Go to Times Square on New Years Eve and watch as the ball drops

8.) Fly a small plane

9.) Donate Blood (May 25th, 2012)

10.) Own a jeep

11.) Write on the before I die wall

12.) Bike the entire Niagara Escarpment

13.) Travel through a jungle on an elephant

14.) Go Surfing

15.) Kayak part of the Nile River

16.) Attend an Olympic event

17.) Learn how to Sail

18.) Go Longboarding in California

19.) Make My own Longboard

20.) Shake hands with someone who has truly changed a country

21.)Road trip to California

22.) Go see the super bowl or world cup of soccer live

23.) Have 1000 followers on Twitter

24.) Own a Mac

25.) Own a pair of Toms

26.) Own a pair of Christian Louboutin Shoes

27.) Crash a wedding

28.) Donate my hair

29.) Live/work in Toronto

30.) Longboard on the costal highway

31.) Teach someone to read

32.) Have a child

33.) Donate money and have my name on something, a college scholarship, a bench in the park, HOSPITAL WING ect.

34.) Speak at a youth convention

35.) Go Golfing

36.) Run a 5k race

37.)Plant a tree and carve my name in it

38.) Participate in a tough mudder

39.) Participate in the Color Run

40.) Go Sailing on the Mediterranean Sea.

41.) Receive an award

42.) Run through a giant farm sprinkler