Summer 2013 Update

Well hey there!
So it has been ridiculously long since I've update so I'll give you a short version of what I've been up to and what my plans for the summer are.
So I finished my school year and have come home for the summer. My older sister graduated college, with honours. No big deal or anything. I'm super proud of her. She also received two awards at her graduation. On top of that she spoke at her graduation to the class following hers a way of "passing the torch" from one year to the next. It was a privilege to be able to attend her grad and support her in this monumental moment in her life.
I have now returned home for the summer. I will be working at my church again this summer with the children's ministry department, I am so looking forward to this. I had an awesome time doing this last year and I am looking forward to another amazing summer there. As well I will be working as a lifeguard again. It has almost been 6 years since I started working at the pool and they keep taking me back. I love working there especially in the summer when we get to be outdoors and I get to work on my tan!
As well coming home this summer I discovered a scholarship I could apply for with S-Trip. And basically I had to make a short video talking about who I am, then I had to answer a couple questions about why travel is important to my education. You guys can follow the link and check out my video and answers.
 Allysin's Profile
If you like what you read/watch click the support button. Now you have to make an account and I know what you're thinking. The last thing you want to do is have to sing up for another thing where they send you annoying e-mails. I get it. Because I have been the same position you are. My understanding is that you only need to sign up so they know that the same person isn't voting over and over again. And then they ask you what e-mails you would like to receive and you get to say NONE. YOu don't have to receive any e-mails from s-trip if you don't want any.
The truth is at first I wanted to receive this scholarship because well I need money and knowing that I have this years tuition covered would be SUCH a stress relief plus I would  have a guaranteed job for next summer already lined up! How sweet would that be!?! But the more I think about it the more I want it because I would have job helping people plan trips!
Now you have to understand I LOVE travel. If you don't know me very well then you might not know this about me. But I legit love travelling I love it from the moment I start packing (two weeks before my trip) to when you're sitting in the plane and it speeds up to take off, to experiencing the culture and character of a new place, trying new foods and meeting new people. I love it all. I think the world has so much to offer and I want to see and experience all of it!
I have 11 more days to get as much support as I possibly can. So if you want to support me click on the link, click support and then share this with at least one friend.
Infinite x's and o's.
-A

To The Greatest Man I Know

Today I went grocery shopping
It was much like every other time I go grocery shopping. I brought my list, my wallet, I grabbed a basket and I started to browse. The only thing that was different really were the people I brought with me. My dad had come to town so that he could drop my younger sister off for a few days, so both my dad and my sister were with me.
Really not much out of the ordinary happened, I browsed the aisles loading my basket with all the goodies on my list, argued a bit with my sister and continued on with my business. My dad, being my dad loves to crack jokes and as per usual made jokes that rather embarrassed me for bringing him into public with me.
Finally we reached the last aisle I only had two more items left on my list, I could see the end of this shopping experience was drawing near and I was attempting to speed up the process by quickly finding my last two items. But there right in the middle of the aisle was a woman, and not just any woman, an tiny, little, short, older woman with her cart, slowly (if at all) moving down the aisle looking high onto the shelf. It really didn't phase me, I had gotten stuck behind many people in a shopping store before and I am now an expert at dodging around them so I can continue on my journey.
So I scoot around her, my little sister at my side and continue down the aisle when I hear my dad's voice. "Do you need help getting something off one of the high shelves?" I almost stopped in my tracks.
Here my dad had seen something I had not. I saw a woman who really was being an inconvenience to my day, slowing me down and causing delay. My dad saw someone who might need help and he took the time to ask if he could do something. The woman replied that she indeed did not need anything from one of the shelves and we continued on shopping.
My dad never made a big deal out of it, I never said anything, life just continued. But inside me I realized how incredible my dad is. All my life I have seen my dad set aside his hopes and his dreams to support others. I have seem him sacrifice his finances for his family and for others and never complaining. My dad has worked long, hard days and weeks only to come home and have to work more at the house. When everything in life was telling him to quit or to give up and live life the way he wanted he stuck it out. My dad has taught me the true meaning of commitment.
My dad is the greatest man I know.
To my future husband:
I know that I will love you with all my heart, and I know that if my parents approve of me marrying you then you must be really great and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with you. But I thought you should know you have incredibly large shoes to fill.
They say that a husband is supposed to take the place of a girls father in her life. Well knowing how incredible my dad is, its going to be tough to live up to him. But I have faith you're pretty great!
Infinite x's and o's
-A


By the way mom, I think you picked a winner!



P.s. who is your role model? You should let them know!

#timetobehonest

Buenas Dias Guapos!

I'm just throwing in a bit of my time in Spain, using the little spanish I remember! So how has everyone been? I hope everyone has had an incredible week. My week has been good. At times hard, but mostly good.

In my last post I talked about having to make tough decisions and I'm going to be honest with you guys, I avoided decision making, which was probably the wrong decision. But, you can only avoid life for so long before you're forced to deal with it. Luckily for me, when I finally had to make a decision it worked out well, and I get a happy ending out of it. I'm really grateful, but I also know that not everyone has that same experience. But I hope that you find the strength in yourself to face the tough situations in life, and don't be a coward like me! I BELIEVE IN YOU GUYS!

So thats just an update after my last entry. But what I actually want to write about this time is completely unrelated. It is really personal, and I don't really tell many people about this. But it is time for me to start opening up and being honest, so here we go. 

This past week I was talking with someone and they told me they thought I was hostile. Now, you have to understand I pride myself on being a happy, energetic, fun person to be around. So I didn't really believe them, so I asked if they were serious and they said yes. They thought I was hostile to keep out any genuine relationships from developing. This was a complete shot to my heart. It was like some took a knife and stabbed me. And the more I thought about the comment, the more I realized it was true. Now when I say hostile, I don't mean an angry person who hates everyone and is miserable to be around. I'm just very sarcastic. But why do I do this? Maybe it is a way to keep people distant. Don't get me wrong I long for meaningful relationships, but in my experience, eventually people leave your life. The people who promised to always be there, disappear. Close friends eventually become distant, and thats just life. So instead of becoming close with people and then having to say goodbyes or ... never getting the chance to say goodbye, I just don't let them in. I allow people into my life so far, and then I cut them off. Its a protection method so I don't get hurt. But I've hurt a lot people by being this way. And it leaves me being really lonely, and always waiting for relationships and friendships to end. Trusting people isn't really something I do. I'm not really sure how to overcome this. I want to be able to get close to people, but I'm too scared to let people really get to know me. 

Anyone have an suggestions on how to get over this?

I don't really expect an answer or anything. But I just want to start being honest and start taking steps to being an open and transparent individual.

Leave a comment and let me know how you are with your friendships.

Infinite x's and o's

-A

#sometimeslifeisjusthard

Good day all you beautiful people!

I know you probably all thought I died or something because its been so long since I wrote. Well the truth is I am alive so you can all stop panicking.
So contrary to what the title of this blog says my life is actually going really well. My last entry I wrote about how my mom had been diagnosed with skin cancer. Well she had surgery and the doctors believe they removed it all but she will continue to go for check ups just to be sure. I am so grateful to God that he was with my mom through this time.
I finished last semester well and received all B+ or A's so I am very pleased with that. I am a bit of a perfectionist so I'm disappointed I didn't receive all A's but I also know that I am happy with the marks I received.
Christmas time was fantastic, I went to Florida with my family and just enjoyed some time away, and then the rest of Christmas break was spent relaxing. Then I returned to school this semester and moved into my first apartment. It has been quite the adjustment for me. You have to understand I love people so much, so living on campus for me was the best because I was with people ALL THE TIME. So there have been times this semester I have felt really lonely, just adjusting to not being around people all the time anymore. But I live with three incredible women and I love them and they're so great! And I'm really happy I get to live with them. So far school is going well this semester and I think I am going to really enjoy all my classes.
So... if everything is going to great why is my entry talking about how life is hard?

Well.. because its true. Sure if you were to look at my life it looks great. It looks like everything is going so well. I have it all together. But I think everyone can act. Everyone can pretend life is going well. But what is actually going on inside?
If everything is going well, why is it I keep having nightmares every night about someone I care about dying? Or myself dying?
If everything is going well, why is it I still feel like I'm going through life alone?
Why am I faced with tough decisions where there doesn't seem to be a right answer, or at least an answer where no one gets hurt?
Why does it feel like as I gain one friend I lose three?
Well I've come to the conclusion that although overall I'm doing alright, and life really isn't so bad and a lot of people have it a lot harder than me, that life is still just hard.
I watched Remember the Titans the other day and Coach Boone was talking with his wife and she says to him, "sometimes life is just hard, for no reason at all".
And I think thats where I'm at. Sometimes life is just hard, sometimes you're faced with hard decisions and hard situations and you're thinking to yourself WHY! Why am I facing this? Why do I have to go through this? And the answer sucks, but its the truth, sometimes life is hard for absolutely no reason at all.

So I want to encourage you guys, whatever hard situation/decision you are facing today, you are not alone. There is a world of people feeling the same way you do. And just so you know it is okay to not be okay. It's okay to not have your whole life together. My quote for today which is helping me get through this is "do not give up what you want most, for what you want now". I know that in the moment life can seem tempting, but remember your dreams for your life and keep moving towards those.

Infinite x's and o's
-A

#accomplishments

Heyy

So its been a little while but you know, life gets busy. Just got to keep going on with life.
But I wanted to update my bucket list. So I figured I should make some time and do it up!

And while I'm here I'll give an update on my life. So it has been a busy semester, I have an extra class this semester so I have a lot of papers and assignments to keep up with. It's been an emotional semester too. During Thanksgiving weekend I was told that my mother has skin cancer. It is amazing how cancer affects so many people. But even though you see and hear about it all the time nothing prepares you for the moment your own mother sits you down and tells you she has cancer. It becomes so much more real, its different when it is close to home.

Dealing with that has challenged me a lot in my own personal beliefs and sticking to my faith. I believe in God, I also believe God can perform miracles, but when someone close to gets sick, life gets real. You can no longer just say you will trust God no matter what, now you really need to live it out. You have to make the decision, will life situations cause me to pull away from God and doubt his faithfulness OR will I draw closer to God and proclaim his faithfulness and goodness no matter what.
As a Christian I wish I could say it was easy for me to make the decision to trust God no matter what, but let me tell you. Life shakes you up. Life gets hard and decisions don't seem so clear cut when you're in the moment. But when it really came down to it, I love God and I KNOW that He is good NO MATTER what I face in life. And God NEVER promised life would be easy, but he did promise he would be with me through it all, and that I wouldn't have to go through life alone. So although it is hard at times, and of course there are moments of doubt I fully rely on God's faithfulness to keep me going, its the only way to live this life. His joy is my strength. It is no longer my ability to remain calm and at peace but his incredible power working in me.

So I guess all of this has left me thinking about how short life really is. When I think about the fact that I will never get this time back, and that I've lived 20.5 years and I can never redo them, or relive high school it blows my mind. And all the time I've wasted in these years, its just insane. The truth is you really do only live once (YOLO) and we need to take full advantage of it.

Be encouraged!
Infinite x's and o's
-A

Here's my updated list:

1.) Go Camping and Cook food over a fire

2.) Witness a Miracle

3.) Get Married

4.) Start my own Business/organization

5.) Get a stamp on my passport from every country

6.) Go paintballing

7.) Go to Times Square on New Years Eve and watch as the ball drops

8.) Fly a small plane

9.) Donate Blood (May 25th, 2012)

10.) Own a jeep

11.) Write on the before I die wall

12.) Bike the entire Niagara Escarpment

13.) Travel through a jungle on an elephant

14.) Go Surfing

15.) Kayak part of the Nile River

16.) Attend an Olympic event

17.) Learn how to Sail

18.) Go Longboarding in California

19.) Make My own Longboard  (Summer 2012)

20.) Shake hands with someone who has truly changed a country

21.)Road trip to California

22.) Go see the super bowl or world cup of soccer live

23.) Have 1000 followers on Twitter

24.) Own a Mac (November 2012)

25.) Own a pair of Toms

26.) Own a pair of Christian Louboutin Shoes

27.) Crash a wedding

28.) Donate my hair

29.) Live/work in Toronto

30.) Longboard on the costal highway

31.) Teach someone to read

32.) Have a child

33.) Donate money and have my name on something, a college scholarship, a bench in the park, HOSPITAL WING ect.

34.) Speak at a youth convention

35.) Go Golfing

36.) Run a 5k race

37.)Plant a tree and carve my name in it

38.) Participate in a tough mudder

39.) Participate in the Color Run

40.) Go Sailing on the Mediterranean Sea.

41.) Receive an award

42.) Run through a giant farm sprinkler 

43.) Tour India
44.) Visit Thailand
45.) Backpack Across Europe

What I have to offer is Me

So...
I'm not really sure who has or hasn't heard of the death of Amanda Todd. It's a really sad story. A young girl bullied at a young age. It's heartbreaking it's the story of thousands and thousands of youth. The statistics on bullying are mind blowing.

It blows my mind how an individual can literally speak enough death into someones life that they would kill themselves. Suicide is so sad, it goes beyond my comprehension. To literally feel like there is no hope is mind blowing. Because I know the hope of the world.

See before the world or the universe existed God existed. God was in perfect relationship with his son and the Holy Spirit and they wanted to extend that relationship so they created humans. But before they actually created us they had a conversation and decided that no matter what happened they would have a way that we can always be in relationship with them, because that is our purpose. We are made complete when we are in relationship with God. So God (Father, son and spirit) created the universe, earth, light, land, water, every animal on land, in water and in the sky. And finally they created humanity. And when we were created it was beautiful and creation was complete, we were the climax of their creation.

Now I'm sure most of you have heard the story, Adam and Eve ate of the fruit that God had told them not to. God wasn't trying to hold back from Adam and Eve, but God wanted to protect them from evil. But it was their free choice, see God could have created us so we'd automatically praise him and do good. But we could never love him that way because you need to choose to love someone. Well the moment Adam and Eve took a bite of that fruit evil entered the world. But this wasn't a surprise to God, he already had a plan of how we can still be complete in relationship with him. Because God loves us, God desires that relationship with us. so years later (around 4000) Jesus comes to earth, he comes and displays who we were created to be when in relationship with God. But the world hated him because he went against their way of living for only themselves. So they had him killed. But this again wasn't a surprise to God he knew Jesus was going to die, Jesus knew. But this was the only way for their beautiful creation to be in relationship with God.

See when we sin the consequence is ALWAYS death. Not a physical death but a spiritual one when the very life in us dies. So Jesus took that, he took all of the death we deserved and was killed. But God is more powerful than the grave, three days later Jesus rose from the dead. Now the penalty is paid, we can now enter into relationship with God and begin the process of being made complete in him.

That is my hope, this is everything I live for, this is what keeps me alive when the evil and darkness of the world seem so strong. I know I can live out my purpose in life which is to live in relationship with God. I know there is still good in the world because God is good and I'm connected to God now.

I didn't know Amanda Todd, but to think that she died feeling like there was no reason to live. That breaks my heart. I have so many questions, did she know that the God that created everything thought she was important enough for his son to die for her? Did she know that love her beyond understanding? I don't know. But if she didn't thats un us as Christians. I am so sorry to all the people who have never heard that there is a God who loves them and wants to know them. Because my job here on earth as a Christian is to be a testimony to the incredible thing that God did approx. 6000 years ago when he thought out a plan to redeem us from sin.

What blows my mind is how incredibly mean people have been to Amanda. I don't know her, I don't know the people that bullied Amanda, I don't know what made them do that, but I do know that God loves/loved all of them. God loved Amanda. God also loves the people who bullied her.
I'm angry at the people who bullied Amanda, if I could talk to them. I'd have one question. Are you happy now? Now that you destroyed a life are you happy? But what is so incredible about my God is that he doesn't do that. God can't not love people. I think he gets sad with people. But he never stops loving them. And that in my mind, if I could say one thing to the people who bullied Amanda I would say God loves you, and forgives you. I feel compassion on them, because they are just as lost as Amanda felt.

I've read some of the comments on the Amanda Todd Facebook group and they say 'I hate the people who bullied Amanda' or 'God's going to come and get you back' ... well to those of you who wrote hurtful things to the people who bullied Amanda, how are you any better than them? You're saying mean things too. And everytime you say something hurtful you are speaking death into someone, and only so much death can spoken about soemone before they have no reason to live. It's this viscious cycle and it needs to stop! Hateful words need to stop being spoken.

It's hard to love someone that is our enemy, yet thats what the bible calls us to do because when a gentle word is spoken it can calm a war.

I'm all my followers, this is a long entry. But I think it's important to examine our lives and the way we treat people and look to see if we're building people up or tearing them down. That even means in our joking. It might funny for you but you never know the power of your words.

I want to leave you guys with a video that I saw on the To Write Love on Her Arm website, I really liked something this guy said he said, "Don't allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work" We have the power to change the world. But you have to be the change you want to see. If you want bullying to stop than you need to examine how  you talk to people. And if you see bullying YOU need to step up and say something! I ask myself these questions too, I know I have failed many times, but I keep trying to make the world a better place.
Please take 5 minutes to watch this video.
http://www.twloha.com/blog/what-to-offer-1/

Infinite x's and o's
- A

Inside my head

Hey!

So I wanted to get a little personal on this blog, being honest with you and hopefully you learn a little something about me that you didn't know before. In the summer I was feeling really lost and just kind of unsure of who I am. So I decided it would be a good idea to sit down and write out things about who I am. And i want to share my journal entry with you guys, so I hope you enjoy and that you feel like you know me just a little bit better after reading this.

" Monday August 6, 2012

Alright lets talk about who I am.
I am twenty-one years old. I'm sensitive about my age.
I have red hair and love every inch of it.
I've grown up in small towns all my life. I used to hate the country, but now I'm embracing my country side.
I hate the taste of coffee but I drink it because it makes me hyper, and I think I'm more fun when I'm hyper.
I love tea, all kinds of it. I
'm left handed and have terrible printing.
I love getting good old fashioned mail. And I would probably send a lot more letters if I had nicer printing.
I like tall guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. (I always tell people I want to marry someone with those qualities because, 1. I'm short so if I marry someone tall my children have hope of being taller, 2. I have red hair so if I marry someone with brown hair my children are pretty much destined to have brown hair, so I'd like them to have the option of having a light colored hair, 3. my eyes are brown so if I marry someone with blue eyes then my children have hope of having something other than brown eyes and also blue eyes are just really pretty)
I have brown eyes and have ALWAYS wished for a different color.
I love lace and old things.
I also really enjoy simple things.
I love to travel, I hate trying new things (but after doing it I love that I tried something new)
I am a Christian, born and raised.
I love God, but sometimes I go through phases where I don't feel like I love him and I don't live the way I should. (I don't like those phases but during them I feel... almost invincible, like I can do anything I want. But I also feel ... empty.)
I want to change the world. I mean... I REALLY want to change the world.
I'm super naive, I don't try to be I just am.
I beleive the best in people. And have a really hard time believing there are bad people in the world.
I enjoy quotes, they inspire me.
If I could pick a favourite feeling it would be inspired. That's all I want to do with my life, inspire people. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.
I'm slightly OCD. But only in moments.
I wish I was more creative with words. I would love to write songs. I open my heart quickly to people, and get attatched easily.
I want to own a jeep.
My favourite music genre is accoustic and folk, but oldies and jazz are a close second/third.
Often I'll flirt with guys I don't even like just because I like the attention from others, and yet the guys I do like I get awkward and quiet around.
My favourite movie is the Notebook because I love how old fashioned it is. AND the southern accents.
I always wished I had a southern accent, and sometimes I pretend when no one is listening.
I am a complete hopeless romantic and am constantly dreaming of find "my man" and going on lots of crazy adventures with him.
                                                 I think thats all
                                                Infinite x's and o's

                                                                                                                                                            -A