tried to escape your own thoughts? Have you ever put your headphones in and turned the music up really loud to try and clear your head? Have you ever gone for a run, almost as if you're trying to run away from your thoughts? Have you sat in the shower and allowed the water to just rush over your head, as if you're trying to wash away everything happening in your mind? Do you have keep yourself so busy, that you're just too tired to think? Or have you ever kept yourself awake so late that you fall asleep as soon as you get into bed, just so you won't have time to think?
If you have, you're not alone. I have had my fair share of times doing this. Not all the thoughts are bad, but just thoughts I don't want to deal with. Ones that I know I should, just I'm not ready to. But how can you possibly escape from yourself? Eventually your thoughts catch up with you. The music doesn't stop you from thinking, you can't ran far enough or long enough to ever escape yourself, a shower only cleans your body and not your mind, no matter how tired or busy you keep yourself there always seems to be a little bit of space in your head for those thoughts.
I have put off thinking for waaaay too long, and now it's all catching up with me. And I need to deal with it. So I feel like another post is coming soon because I'm really going to need a place to allow my thoughts to come out.
You know it's almost funny how I wanted to be able to be open and honest and thats what I was going to use this blog for, and yet even though these are just words typed onto a computer I have a hard time being transparent, even here. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to think that I won't be judged for my thoughts, opinions, or even questions. I think sometimes it's because I can be really judgemental and I just assume everyone else is secretly just as judgemental as I am.
Anyways keep your eyes open I'm sure a new blog post is just around the corner.
Infinite x's and o's
Allysin
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